Problem Gambling Effects On Family
Problem gambling affects everyone - family, friends, coworkers, neighbors, and entire communities. During this presentation, we will examine the wide range of negative consequences problem gambling has on the family system as a whole, with a detailed focus on personal relationships and children involved. Nov 08, 2019 And then, later on, it will affect the family savings, investments, belongings, and even properties. Because of this, the families of the people with gambling problems feel betrayed, angry and even scared of the consequences of the situation they got into. Emotional Isolation And Problems.
Financial problems
Individuals with a gambling disorder will exhaust all accessible monetary resources to satisfy their addiction. Exhausting savings, selling property, cashing-in stocks, borrowing on insurance policies, taking out loans are common and often happen quickly and without the knowledge of other facility members.
With every asset expended, families find themselves in severe financial crisis which leads to feelings of fear, frustration, anger and betrayal.
Emotional problems
Family members are often embarrassed to admit that a loved-one has a gambling problem. Shame, fear, betrayal, confusion, distrust are all emotional reactions that make life difficult. These difficulties carry over to every aspect of a family member’s life including their personal relationships, their work and interactions with other members of the family.
Gambling problems cause strong feelings. Family members may feel ashamed, hurt, afraid, angry, confused and distrustful. These feelings make it harder to solve problems. The person who gambles may even deny that there is a problem.
Isolation
To avoid the emotional stress of “putting on a face” in light of the many family issues caused by gambling, family members, particularly spouses, may simply avoid social situations. This compounds the problem by denying family members access to much-needed support from others. It’s common for family members to lose friends do to unpaid debts. They engage less in intellectual and cultural activities. And because of anger and resentment toward the addicted gambler, there is also no comfort from, or closeness to, the gambler, leaving the family member to struggle alone.
Physical and mental health
There is a strong connection between mental health and physical health. For both the individual with a gambling disorder as well as the family member, anxiety, depression and stress reactions are common. These issues when untreated can lead to poor sleep, gastrointestinal problems, headaches, muscle tension, high blood pressure and many other physical problems. Due to financial limitations, many never seeking help for these issues until they become severe.
Emotional Burnout and Compassion Fatigue
Family members often bear the brunt of supporting, encouraging and trying to aid the problem gambler. While giving so much care to another, self-neglect is common. Over time, the multiple burdens of prolonged financial problems, emotional problems and physical health problems can result in emotional burnout. Burnout is a state of chronic stress that results in physical and emotional exhaustion, cynicism, detachment, and in the worst cases, despair.
Emotional burnout may manifest as chronic fatigue, insomnia, problems with concentrating, loss of appetite, increased illnesses, anxiety, anger and depression.
Physical and Emotional Abuse
Family violence is more common when families are in crisis. Gambling problems can lead to physical or emotional abuse of a partner, elder parent or child. Children may be hurt due to pent-up anger. If this is happening in your family, get help right away. If someone is in immediate danger, call 911. Otherwise, please contact the Ontario Problem Gambling Helpline.
Suicidal thoughts and attempts
No other addiction has as high a suicide rate as gambling. The National Council on Problem Gambling (NCPG) estimates that one in five people with a gambling disorder will attempt to kill themselves, about twice the rate of other addictions. Whether attempted or completed, this can has devastating, life-long emotional effects on loved ones, spouses and children. Further, family members facing isolation, panic, finical ruin, divorce, and despair are also at higher risks for suicide.
For both the problem gambler and family members, risks for suicide are highest for those with a prior history of depression, past attempts or who misuse or abuse alcohol or other substances.
Compulsive gambling is a widespread problem of addiction. There are thousands of compulsive gamblers in Canada, and gambling doesn’t just affect the gambler. Its far-reaching consequences involve the lives of spouses, children, friends, extended family, employers and co-workers, but the hardest hit is the immediate family.
Spouses and children don’t just suffer the material deprivation that accompanies compulsive gambling; the rates of divorce, domestic violence, child abuse and neglect are much higher in families where one or both adults have a gambling addiction.
Material deprivation
A gambler, in the throes of his* addiction and obsessed with winning the jackpot is no longer thinking clearly. He is in the grip of such a powerful mental obsession that he can no longer discern between right and wrong when it comes to gambling. He will bet his paycheque, mortgage the house and sell whatever he can to get money; he’ll borrow from family, friends and loan sharks; he will embezzle from his workplace, write bad cheques, steal money from the kids’ piggy banks, cash in bonds and retirement savings, max out all his credit cards and stillbe in denial that he has a gambling addiction. There will be nothing left for food, clothes, rent or mortgage payments, so his family goes without the basics, living way below the poverty line – not because there isn’t enough money but because all the money has been gambled away.
Divorce
The divorce rate among families in the grip of compulsive gambling is high. The tension between spouses is palpable. As the gambler loses more and more, feelings of fear and shame increase. He becomes angry to cover up his fear and shame. He becomes withdrawn, elusive and terse. He may experience mood swings – elation when he wins, sullenness when he loses. The spouse, frustrated beyond bearing and also fearful, is constantly confronting the gambler about the pile of unpaid bills, the calls from creditors, about his lying and covering up.
Unable to cope with this perceived constant 'nagging,' the gambler gets angry in an attempt to intimidate his spouse into silence. The tension and anger escalate. The house feels like a war zone with each spouse on the enemy side. The groundwork has been laid for either spouse to seek 'solace and understanding' outside the marriage. Divorce can seem like the only option. Unable to withstand the chronic chaos, the couple split up, leaving in their wake many lives destroyed and broken. And still the gambler may continue gambling.
Domestic violence
Few gamblers see that gambling contributes to the problems they face. The constant inner tension that a compulsive gambler lives with is crushing. Many gamblers drink in an effort to reduce this tension. Many 'blow up' regularly to relieve the pressure, like a pressure cooker left on the stove too long.
Problem Gambling Effects On Family Violence
Gamblers are masters at blaming external circumstances and other people for their troubles – and the spouse is the prime target for blame. Living with a compulsive gambler is like walking blind in a minefield. You never know when you’re going to step on a bomb. You never know when he is going to explode and what the damage will be. Maybe dinner was served too late or too early. Maybe you didn’t say hello the right way. Maybe you weren’t supposed to say hello at all. Maybe the kids were too loud or too quiet. Either way, you never know from one day to the next what his mood and temper will be, so you live in fear of his explosive rage. Sometimes that rage leads to a slap, or a punch, or rape.
Problem Gambling Effects On Family Tree
Sometimes his rage leads to verbal abuse: name calling, harsh criticism, swearing and out-of-control yelling. All the while the gambler is blaming you for the way he is treating you. You don’t know what you’ve done, but after a while you begin to believe him. Maybe he’s right and you’re wrong. You begin to doubt your perception, thoughts and feelings. The abused spouse learns that once the storm has passed, the gambler is always very sorry, and promises not to do it again. They learn that a few 'normal' days will follow until the next time. And there’s always a next time.
Child abuse and neglect
The constant strain, the constant financial pressure and the emotional highs and lows that gamblers experience take a toll on their ability to function maturely. Children of compulsive gamblers are vulnerable to physical, emotional, and verbal abuse and neglect. It is not uncommon to hear that children were left in locked cars in the parking lot of a casino while their parent was gambling.
Like the spouse, the children are prime targets for the gambler’s rage. He has no psychological buffer that allows him to take a step back and re-group. His rage is always just beneath the surface and it takes very little for it to erupt. Parents know that raising children is not always easy and we all reach the breaking point at times. The difference, however, is that a healthy parent can discipline their anger and use it constructively. A compulsive gambler does not possess this type of discipline if, indeed, he ever did, and so the gambler’s rage, fear and frustration get dumped on his children who are unable to protect themselves against it. Growing up in this kind of environment is profoundly damaging to a child’s sense of self, sense of safety and trust, and sense of well-being. They are the innocent victims of a debilitating addiction through no fault of their own.
Families need help if they want to change. The spouse will need many types of support including financial, emotional, psychological and spiritual. The road back to health isn’t easy, but staying isn’t easy either. It will take time for the wounds created and compounded by compulsive gambling to heal.